Journal #2 August 9, 2000

My dad and step mom tell me quit crying and move on, but I feel that if I do, it will be being disrespectful to your memory. The last thing that I would ever want to do is be disrespectful to you. I love you.

Whenever I think of you, I think about when I helped you with your monologue in Theater class, do you remember that? It was the "St Crispan's Day" speech from Shakespeare. I also remember you lip-syncing to "Take Me to Your Leader". I almost cried when I lost the puzzle piece that I got at your funeral. It was the one physical thing that I had to remind me of you. I love you Jeremy. I always will.

Love always, B (a friend)
PS Your black marble headstone is beautiful!


Sometimes grief is confusing. As if by moving on, we're hurting someone we lost. Perhaps you've experienced the confusion -weighing when to move on and let yourself be happy. Grief is so different for everyone- our family knows that very well. Is there any pain in your life you're clinging to? Is it time to let go, and move on? Are you ready for healing?

Journal #2 June, 20, 1999

Well Jeremy, Amy and crew are back from Mexico, as you know. I’m anxious to hear how God used them and moved them- I already heard some of their funny stories- Did you have funny stories of Mexico when you went, Jer? (other than “My gringo is faster than yours” pony back rides!) Why am I so sad today? I’m so glad Amy and the others are home-


oh… I guess it’s because at every homecoming, I know you aren’t with us and you aren’t coming home… you are Home permanently. I guess it hits hard at unexpected times.

So, sweetie, I love you always, Love-Mom



Memories and grief can come in waves- some we see coming- some we dont. Sometimes the hardest days were after the holidays. Grief isn't predictable. Over the last 11 years, have there been things or places that have triggered memories of Jeremy for you? Again, a testimony to our lasting legacy;our attitudes, behaviors, words, and spirit can leave impressions, even on physical places that stand as forever-memory-triggers of kindness and love. Are you leaving your mark!?

Journal #2 Dec 22, 2000

Hey Jer! It's your sis! Guess what- I can drive... alone... legally! :) I wish you were here so I could torment you a little with my driving. I've always said that when I get my license I'll come up here more. I miss you very much. Sometimes I feel like you were only a dream, came to make laughter and fun and then disappear. God is encouraging me when I least expect it. By songs, quotes I find, and by the people around me. On this cold winter day it's sunny, not a could in the sky and the birds are singing...

It was a privilege being your sister and I promise you, I will let your legacy live on through me because I want to be like you. God, thank you that of all the people on earth, you let me be a friend with Jeremy. I understand why you took him, he was faithful.
Love Always, Amy (sister)

Journal #2- May 2000

I am but a wandering visitor and the Lord led me to you. My grief is internal and my vehicle of expression was found with this pen. My loss was 1995. 2 friends gone in one night and I shall never forget them. I am not from here. I am only passing through and what a better way to spend Memorial Day than to respect your place of rest and peace... I can feel the sadness at losing a life so young, only a beginning to something new. But through them and you I can let myself go and appreciate my life here on earth while the angels look upon me with grace and hope. Thank you for being here for me today on my lonely journey. I needed you. God speed- Constance (a stranger)

Journal #3 June 17, 2004

Hi. You don’t know us. This is Amanda, Ryan and Lindsey. We really like your box! We’re so sorry you died so young. I’m sure you were a great guy and hope we meet you in heaven. We live right next door to the cemetery and just wanted to say hi. We’re touched by all the people who love you!

This entry made us laugh. First of all, their curiosity about the oak box got the best of them- that's so like little kids. I can just see them, "Ryan, look what I found! Should we write something?"

But more than that, their sweet innocence about the topic touched us deeply. Their assurance of heaven and the opportunity to meet Jeremy face-to-face seemed so assured. Life seems to have a way of robbing us of the things we know to be true and it's too easy to find ourselves dissecting God's promises during hard times. I know I do (Jim). Oh to have an innocent, simple faith again like Amanda, Ryan & Lindsey.